Letters About the Pledge to Stop the Word "Retard"

Upon leaving a job a few years back, a co-worker was overheard stating something like, "Great, we can use the word retard again." This was a very smart gentleman with a degree in Philosophy working at an internet company. Part of his job included leading training on the use of FrontPage for our clients. Poor man never understood how many people he offended when using this word during training classes. I'm going to forward him a link to your pledge ... maybe he'll finally overcome his own perceptions and realize he is improperly using this word.

Thank you for standing up and posting this on the Internet! And thanks also for standing behind your very special brother! I know there are times with tears, but the joy overwhelms the down times. My daughter has brought a whole new world into my life! I thank her and God every day for her coming into my life.

Sincerely,
Heidi Goehring

Dear Jenna,
In my bewildered state of finding yet another example of how people can think it's "cute" to hurt those we love and value so very much and rightfully so, I emailed the website that has a story posted that I have cut and pasted for you to see just below this note. Upon reading the post, I yet again, contacted the owner of the site in the hopes that some sense of enlightenment will happen.

Thank you for your pledge page. How I wish it didn't seem to feel as if we swim against a tidal wave of prejudice and disregard for those who are the most trusting, nonjudgmental souls in this world. We as a collective society do not deserve the lovely people that you know as your brother Paul and I know as my son Duncan (they both happen to have Down syndrome).

Here is the entry on a site about George Clooney - I was looking up the new movie he's filmed in NC and wondered about the plot. I found this and then contacted the owner of the site.
Happy fourth to you and your family.
Warm regards,
Ann Vaughn
Chapel Hill NC

(So as not to violate copyright, I can't paste the entry here-- you can read it at this link, then come back here to read Ann's response.)

I've admired George Clooney since his early "ER" days when I found through articles he is a very decent person. With parents like Nick and Nina Clooney and an aunt like Rosemary Clooney, his values and sense of what is fair, cruel and everything thing in between means a lot.

Since I live in NC, I was curious about the plot of this new film and through links found your site. The "cute story" about "Draters" broke my heart. You see, my son is considered a "Drater" and that's all most boys that are "normal" see when they see him. They don't see the kind, trusting and nonjudging boy that happens to have been born with Down syndrome. Something he didn't choose and something no one could have prevented. He faces every day - every single day with challenges that the clever creator of "Drater" nor his mother can fathom. The 'joke' is just that ... no harm, right? That is not the case. It hurts and it fosters/nurtures the sense that it's okay to make fun of others that are just as important, just as loved and just as valued. You can measure love and I love my son as much as the proud mom loves her clever boy. Someone with smarts can do so much more to engage and be enlightened, rather than be glib and injure.

George is someone I respect so much because of those he protects and stands up for who are injured or treated badly. Everyone from a friend who is yelled at as "the fat chick" who is hurt by that remark by photographers and he stood up for her - to the thousands suffering in Darfur. I can't imagine George's initial reaction when he was told that "Drater" is "retard" spelled backwards. The mom may think because she doesn't allow them to say the "r-word" that saying it backwards is okay...but would that be the case if they were spelling the "n-word" backwards and saying it? I think not, but then it's still okay to use derrogatory words when it comes to IQ because retards can't feel or understand emotional hurt, can they?

I think we all know the anwer to that. By now, you either get it that referring to that anecdote as cute is not, or you think I'm some zealous "PC" bitter mother who is angry at the world for the fact her child has an extra 21st chromosome. That's not the case. This child has taught me more things that matter than any college professor, clergy or genius.
Please know that I have to believe that George would understand why I am writing you. I have no choice because I love my son and those like him and value too much what they bring to the world and the rest of us if we will but let them escape the cruel remarks and stereotypes.

George's mother, Nina Clooney understands. She wrote for Nick's column a beautiful entry that I have cherished over the years called "An Innocent Taught with Love" and it's about a "slow" man in their town who passed away and in his life gave so much to those willing to receive with an open mind and an open heart.

I hope that the mom and her sons that met George will someday have an opportunity to open their minds and hearts as well. Thank you for reading this and I hope that the "Drater" story will be at some point retired from the site. It would make this mom feel a little better that it will not be there to promote the view that it's okay to use someone's limitations as humor.
Thank you for reading.
Sincerely
Ann
Chapel Hill NC

Letters About the "My Words Matter" Pledge